It’s a welcome return for our Cool Test this issue, as Ian Coppinger and Justin Moorhouse – two of the up-coming comedians from The Laughter Factory’s September line up – go head to head in a battle of the funnies.
The funniest word is…
IAN: Sausage. It always tickles me.
JUSTIN: Moist – only because it drives people mad.
The best heckle I’ve heard is…
IAN: Being 5 foot 2 I once had the heckle “hi ho” shouted out to me before I even spoke.
JUSTIN: A Dutchman once commented on my trainers in China – that was surreal, I asked where in Holland he was from, he responded, very Dutch like – “what does it matter?” You’ll only come out with your standard Amsterdam material… he was right.
The question I get asked the most is…
IAN: What is your best heckle?
JUSTIN: Because I played a Manchester City wearing fool with his face constantly spread as a tiger in Phoenix Nights it’s either a) Are you a city fan? Or b) How did you get the face paint off?
My biggest claim to fame is…
IAN: Still to happen.
JUSTIN: See above for being the kind of idiot who gets his face painted and wears a shirt of a team he doesn’t support.
Have you ever used your name or fame to get out of trouble?
IAN: I once used the fact that I am the godfather to a famous Australian comedian’s daughter at Australian customs. I wasn’t in trouble but it’s the quickest I’ve ever gotten through customs.
JUSTIN: I don’t think so, I’ve tried to use the old famous face to get a table in a restaurant but unless it’s spray painted (see above) then no chance.
Have you ever injured yourself at work?
IAN: If a hangover can be considered an injury, then yes, very frequently.
JUSTIN: The paint gave me blotchy skin.
It’s not big and clever but…
IAN: This could be written on my tombstone.
JUSTIN: Hearing children swear in context is one of life’s delights.
Your answer to everything is…
IAN: Ask your mother. This is perfect as I’m not married or have any children.
JUSTIN: Google it.
What’s the best insult you could give to each other?
IAN: You couldn’t print that. Don’t forget that I’m Irish, we invent insults.
JUSTIN: Anything that contains the phrase ‘your mum’ eg I once heard a kid say to another on a bus “I saw your mum breakdancing for cigarette money outside Lidl.”
THE VERDICT: A high scoring draw, there’s little to choose between them – although we’ll be shouting ‘Hi Ho’ when Ian takes to the stage!
Thursday, September 15 – Movenpick JBR (9pm)
Friday, September 16 – Movenpick JBR (9pm)
Wednesday, September 21 – McGettigan’s JLT (8pm)
Thursday, September 22 – Grand Millennium TECOM (9pm)
Tickets AED140.
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